That's me in the corner... That's me in the spotlight...

June 19

Spades, Clubs, Diamonds, ...

Another lesson from music...

For me... and for You...

Words of the day:

"He deals the cards as a meditation
And, those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for respect

He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the Spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the Clubs are weapons of war
I know that Diamonds mean money for this Art
But, that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the Jack of Diamonds
He may lay the Queen of Spades
He may conceal a King in his hand

While the memory of it fades

I know that the Spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the Clubs are weapons of war
I know that Diamonds mean money for this Art
But, that's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape - the shape of my heart

And, if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one

For those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And, those who fear are lost

I know that the Spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the Clubs are weapons of war
I know that Diamonds mean money for this Art
But, that's not the shape of my heart

That's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape - the shape of my heart"

(Sting, Shape Of My Heart, Ten Summoner's Tales)

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June 09

White flag...

I don't know why I'm still here, I don't know if I want to say some more about me...

I'm tired to fight...

To fight with this world that is gioing in the wrong direction... Or maybe is not this world... maybe I'm wrong, and it's my life that is going in the wrong way...

There are too many things changing in me...

Soon my brand new home will be completed...

I hope it will be a good starting point (even if I'm not so sure) to feel better...

But there is one big thing that is still missing... I'm still incomplete... I cannot free up my mind and I'm not so sure if I'm strong enough...

Love is killing me... I'm giving all my life to make people happy, but, what about me?

I feel empty... And I can't find the missing pieces of this puzzle...

I'm suffering, maybe a radical change is necessary, but in this moment I can't see through the haze around me and I lost the direction...

I decided to face this alone to avoid to put my sorrow on the people I love...

But I have to recognize that I put a big wall around me...

Maybe, I have only to convince myself that it doesn't worth to love...

cya

Words of the day:

"Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!"

(Queen, The Show Must Go On, Innuendo)

May 01

One year of Blog....

One Year ago...

I decided to start this new adventure...

I promised myself to put part of my feelings and part of my life on this white pages...

Many things happend in this year...

But I'm still here, looking for that lost way... Fighting everyday with myself...

I'm one year older, I hope to be also wiser than yesterday...

Thanks to my few readers, thanks to all the people I love...

Thanks to You... my hidden Love...

Words of the day:

"(Why don't you let me make) a brand new start..."

(Queen, Let Me Live, Made In Heaven)

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April 03

Waiting for an answer...

It's still time to wait...

Waiting is hard...

Waiting is difficult...

Silence is calm...

Silence is peace...

Silence is gold...

Let's pray...

Let's open the heart again...

Let's continue this fight...

It's hard, and sometimes I would like to surrender...

But not now, not again, not today...

Probably, I will have to ask someone's help...

Words of the day:

"...Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

(Don McLean, American Pie)

March 27

Confusion...

The scenario is changing...

Words are tired...

Heart aches...

Many doubts again...

I'm not sure if I could face You..

Maybe I'm not ready...

I'm looking, seaching, sinking...

Maybe that day will come...

But when? How long should I wait?

Words of the day:

"I guess I'm wastin' time but I've got to clear my mind
I don't know why I love you but I do"

(Clarence 'Frogman' Henry, (I Don't Know Why I Love You) But I Do)

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March 22

Searching for...

Just few words after long time without hearing my voice...

I'm searching, trying to find the way... The way I lost time ago...

And today is the most important waiting day... The day of silence, the day on which we are waiting for the new life... for the resurrection... for a rebirth.

Happy Easter to all of you!

Words of the day:

"Why do you seek the living one among the dead?"

(Luke 24, 5)

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February 15

Singing alone...

Let the music speaks for me...

Words of the day:

"The rain came down
The rain came down
The rain came down on me.

The wind blew strong
The summer song
Fades to memory

I knew you when
I loved you then
The summers young and helpless.

You laid me bare
You marked me there
The promises we made.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim your best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain.

The nighttime creases
Summer schemes
And stretches out to stay.
The sun shines down
You came around
You love easy days.

But now the sun,
The winters come.
I wanted just to say
That if I hold
I'd hope youd fold
Open up inside, inside of me.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim your best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain.

This winter song
I'll sing along
I've searched its still refrain
I'll walk alone
I've given this, take wing
Celebrate the rain.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim your best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain".

(R.E.M., I'll Take The Rain, Reveal)

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February 07

To everything there is a season...

I will take a break for a while...
I will come back one day...
I don't know when....

If You want You can wait for me, or, if You prefer, You can leave me...

cya

Words of the day:

"...A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late..."

(Byrds, Turn! Turn! Turn!)

January 15

Will you ever welcome me?

Long time away...

Only to find the direction...

Silence that speaks more than words...

Time wasted in searching...

Another heartbreak...

Green fields of grass...

Another minute lost...

I wish I were happy...

Not alone, but with You...

Words of the day:

"It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you... Gonna take some time to do the things we never had..."

(Toto, Africa)

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December 29

The wise man built his words upon the rocks...

I'm sorry if I think I love You...

I can't remove You from my mind...

Even if You're far...

Even if You are not here with me...

Even if this will be an impossible dream...

I will try to follow my heart....

I will continue to be myself...

I will try to make You always happy...

I will continue to fight for You...

I will continue to look for You secretely...

I will continue to sing...

Maybe one day...

Words of the day:

"...These rivers of suggestion are driving me away..."

(R.E.M., So Central Rain, Reckoning)

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December 24

Don't forget...

A small post to wish you all a Merry Christmas for tomorrow...

Please, don't forget the real sense of this day...

Don't be in hurry for all the gifts you have to buy...

Forget the noise of the commercial centers...

Stop yourself... and start thinking!

This day is the day in which we remember the birth of a Child...

I would like to "re-born" with Him today...

Merry Christmas, dear readers.

Words of the day:

"...I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree..."

(Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas Is You)

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December 21

Remembering that night...

I Don' t want to say so much...

I remember that dance floor...

The music running through my veins...

...This broken dream is still here...

Let the music play...

Words of the day:

"Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

Should've known better

I feel so unsure
as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
as the music dies, something in your eyes
calls to mind the silver screen
and all its sad good-byes

I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste this chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Never without your love

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But noone's gonna dance with me
Please stay

And I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

(Now that you're gone) Now that you're gone
(Now that you're gone) What I did's so wrong
that you had to leave me alone"

(George Michael, Careless whisper)

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December 19

Something changed?

Today there's something new to see...

Changes sometimes are necessary, sometimes you need to change something to feel better...

I'm trying to change, I'm trying to be better every day... For me, for You all. This is my challange for the future...

But, first of all, before change something I have to understand what is wrong...

Words of the day:

"...That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them..."

(Bruce Hornby, The Way It Is)

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December 16

Wonderful sensation...

You took my head in your hands and shook it, You said "Don't worry, I'm here...", than You kissed me...

I was calm, relaxed, I could hear my breath and my heart was beating... A wonderful music was playing in the air... I was in heaven and all the problems suddenly disappered...

...But that was just a dream... Just a dream...

Words of the day:

"...If I can't have you when I'm waking
I'll go to sleep and dream of you..."

(Queen, Dreamer's Ball, Jazz)

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December 08

Probably...

Probably is this cold blowing wind...

Probably is the desire to understand where I can find You...

Probably is the need to find my way...

Probably is this fear...

Probably is my strength...

Probably is this magic sound...

Probably is the music...

Probably is a dream...

Probably is a nightmare...

Probably is my reflection in a Window...

Probably is your smile...

Probably is this sadness...

Probably is this happiness...

Probably is this confusion...

Probably is this desire...

Probably is this beating heart...

Probably this is for me...

Probably this is for You...

Probably this is LOVE...

November 23

Rain must fall...

I'm thinking too much...

I have to stop blaming myself...

I have to...

Words of the day:

"My actions make me beautiful... And dignify the flesh..."

(R.E.M., Falls To Climb, UP)

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November 14

....dekan dna derit

It's not so simple to show the best part of yourself when things are not going in the correct way...

It's not so simple to put feelings on a webpage...

It's not simple to be always yourself...

Unfortunately, you've succeeded in changing me...

Hey! You wanted me to be something that I will never be!

But one thing is true, even if this seems to be lost... I'm still able to LOVE...

My problem now is to understand how to show it to You!!!!

Please, help me...

Words of the day:

"So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep..."

(Soul Asylum, Runaway Train)

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November 04

A picture...

Yesterday I was cleaning my bedroom and suddenly my eyes fell on a 4 years ago picture: The picture of my graduation in computer science. (And it was also the day of my 26th birthday!)

My friends made me a big surprise on that day... I didn't want to make any big party but they came to my home and arranged a wonderful evening!

What a wonderful moment!

Now most of them have their own family and children and we don't have so much time to stay together but we all remember the wonderful adventures we faced together... Our friendship was born and grew up in our oratory!

How many games we played, how many steps together, how many things we organized... How many lessons I've learnt from you, how many times I laugh with you... How many times you took my hands...

Thanks to all of you in that picture, and thanks to all the other friends that left (and will continue to leave) a footprint in my life...

Thanks to the OSL, the place in which we learnt how to love each other...

Words of the day:

"How can I forget
Those beautiful dreams that we shared..."

(Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballé, How Can I Go On, Barcelona)

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October 21

Campioni del mondo!!!!!

The sky is Red...

The Italian flag is fluttering!

We are World Champions again!

Thanks Kimi, Felipe, and Team Ferrari!!!!

My heart is beating... and this is a very good starting point!

Words of the day:

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything"

(Mark Twain)

Let's start over...

I'm here again after a walk...

Now it's time to erase all memories, and restart again...

I'll try to be more positive, to trust again in myself... I know it will be not so simple, but I also know I can do it, maybe all the love I gave to others is not lost, maybe there's a small flame that is burning inside of me... It's only up to me to make this flame bigger and start again...

There're too many things happening around me, I would like to control them all but I'm not in the position to do that. It's a strange sensation, it seems I'm running in circle and it seems it's all for nothing...

Maybe your suggestion is a good starting point... I need to stop thinking so much and I need to start again using my heart instead of my brain...

But, there is only one thing that can help me to increase my hope and this thing is your smile...

I know, unfortunately, your smile is all that I can have, but I will be lost without it!

Thanks to be there...

Words of the day:

"L'uomo solo non esiste.

Non ci sono che uomini

legati gli uni agli altri,

fino ai limiti dell'umanità

e del tempo"

(Michel Quoist)

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